Mulling over mothering

'Mothers have the ability to liberate by love or, by neglect, to imprison. They're our first teachers; they are our first loves.'

Maya Angelou

I'm currently teaching a collection of Dr Angelou's poetry to my A Level class. As today sees the annual celebration of motherhood in the form of Mother's Day, I knew she'd have the right words to best express how I feel about this motherin' malarkey.

I phoned my mum this morning to wish her a good day; my 9am phone call woke her. Dexter awoke this morning at an uncharacteristic 6am and spent the next hour and a half in his parents' bed, repeatedly kicking me in the head: a powerful metaphor for parenting perhaps?

Regardless, my identity as a mother is an important part of my identity as a woman. However, I do not believe that you are only a 'complete' woman if you're a mother: not at all. Caitlin Moran (goddess that she is), gets it spot-on in her brilliant How to Be a Woman when she says:

'If you want to know what's in motherhood for you, as a woman, then - in truth - it's nothing you couldn't get from, say, reading the 100 greatest books in human history; learning a foreign language well enough to argue in it; climbing hills; loving recklessly; sitting quietly, alone, in the dawn; drinking whisky with revolutionaries; learning to do close-hand magic; swimming in a river in winter; growing foxgloves, peas and roses; calling your mum; singing while you walk; being polite; and always, always helping strangers. No one has ever claimed for a moment that childless men have missed out on a vital aspect of their existence, and were the poorer, and crippled by it.'

She's also on the money in my opinion, when she suggests that:

 '...there is the sheer emotional, intellectual, physical, chemical pleasure of your children. The honest truth is that the world holds no greater gratification than lying in bed with your children, putting your leg on top of them in a semi-crushing manner, while saying sternly, "You are a poo."'

It was International Women's Day on Friday: a celebration of gender and a reminder that our 'sisters' all over the world are still subject to subjugation, oppression and inequality. Sexism in any guise leaves me feeling saddened that some people forget they were (to quote the Bard himself), 'born of woman'  and that prejudice along gender lines is still very much a part of the every-day.

My mum's amazing. She's funny, strong, warm, opinionated and a total constant in my life. My mother-in-law is a gem too. As a mother, I feel totally inadequate in their shadow, but I'm doing my best. Dexter loves his Daddy all the way to the moon and back, and I know he loves me too, but, as is so often a mother's want, I'm good cop and bad cop all rolled into one. It made my Mother's Day today that during a lazy, pyjama-wearing morning, he climbed onto the sofa with his Mummy, simply for a snuggle. And my motherin' will definitely be a success if he grows into a man who just treats all people with courtesy, decency and kindness - as human.